Hell has frozen over

WHY is it that when anything horrible happens, you've just GOT to be called at work? When there are OTHER PEOPLE around?? I dunno, but lately it's been happening to me. I'd like to tell all my family to PLEASE PHUKING CALL ME AT HOME. Next year, if possible. Better yet, send a letter. I can't promise I'll read it, but I will let my dog chew on it, ok?


For instance: My ex husband just called to tell me that he's getting a divorce from (in my words) the most evil hateful phuking bitch in the the entire history of the world. Otherwise known as his wife. Do I care? Hell no. Will I ever care? Again, hell no. BUT...I had to sit quietly and listen and make "mmmhhhmmm" noises like I understand and quite possibly sympathize (not in this lifetime, junior) because I AM AT WORK, YOU ASSHOLE!


Oh, and he was DRUUUUUUNK. Yes indeedy, he was drunker than cooter brown. My face is going to break because I am smiling and laughing and y'all better not stand too close to me in case lightning strikes. Karma is FINALLY kicking his sorry ass and I hope it kicked hard and I hope it hurt. Payback for beating the shit outta me for all those years I was sentenced to him.

Yes indeedy, karma is a bitch. I love her.